Eyes

I am scared. Of Eyes. Anyones. When you look into eyes, what are you supposed to see? Color? If the person is high? I wouldn't know. Want to know what I see? EMOTION. And I don't like it.
I have a friend. He and I have just started talking his week. One of the sweetest guys I know. Even before we really talked and we would just say a friendly 'hello', I looked into his eyes. I saw pain. More pain then you probably see in a week, in less then 3 seconds. In his eyes. I was shocked. I like talking to him, I like being around him. He has great energy, but I can't look him in the eyes. He knows it too. I can glance, but my eyes dart around. I do it with almost everyone.

So I found the picture that makes me see eyes differently. This picture:


This picture scares the shit out of me. The eyes... they follow me. It was in my temple. On the wall. I didn't know what to do. I always felt anxious in that room. Then I realized it was the picture. Theres a story behind it and everything. Well thats where my fear started. And grew to what it has become today. As I hide from them, darting my eyes, staring at other random things,that kinda stuff.
Eyes are mysterious things. Full of wonder. For me its like looking into a persons soul. You can see right down into them and tell how they feel. I mostly see whats bottled up inside though. The pain. Just like in my friend. Seeing that pain hurts me inside. And it makes me want to help, even if i have no idea whats going on. And even if there is no way to help.

I really feel like I need to say something about my day, about my life. But I don't want to. It's irrelevant and no one cares what I do anymore. Life kinda sucks... and then we die, right?

~SilverMoon