The Dark

Today. I was stupid. Stupid x infinity. Ive been a real idiot lately. Me and my depression have been at war. I feel it starting to control me and take over my life. Like today. I woke up at 4:45 for swim practice, and had a break down. I broke down again when I was alone on this beach. I pressed my face into the sand and cried. And then once more. Talking to someone I truly care about.
I hurt him tonight. I never meant to do that. But after I thought about it the first action I made caused pain. I don't know why I did it. I don't know why I let myself. I meant nothing of what I said tonight. But we talked. He said two phrases that stood out.

"because your to afraid of the dark
when you yourself turned off the light"

I thought to myself. Did I really do that? The first thing that came into my head was no. Of course I didn't do that, I don't do ANYTHING as stupid as that. Stupid depression, look at what you have gotten yourself into. Yes. I did do that. Look at the situation you are in stupid? How great do you think you are now? I think i'm just gonna shun my depression. Until it goes away. But enough about that.
You. You know who you are. You are one of the most important people in my life. And i keep hurting you. I don't know how you feel about me anymore, maybe you will tell me soon. But you know how I feel about you and I will NEVER let my feeling change. I need you in my life, so please, please stay.

~SilverMoon