Single

He dumped me on Monday morning.
He called and asked me out to coffee to "talk about us". As soon as I saw those words thought the worst and felt tears running down my face. I changed my attitude, pulled myself together, and wished for the best.
I walked in and sat down at a table. he came in, asked how I was, and told me we couldn't be together anymore. It didn't matter if we were at my house, his, I was gonna cry and I did. There were tears everywhere.
He told me it was for the better, held my hand while I cried. My best friend. Right in front of me. We didn't talk about us. He ended us.
And now its Wednesday night. I am crying writing this. I cry when I talk about it. There are so many things I wish I could say to him... but cant. I want to hug him, but people told me that wasn't a good idea. And he avoids me. Well, tries not to make contact with me. And all I want to fuckin' do is kiss him.
A few girls have really helped me through this and I owe them eternally. They all support me and let me know things will get better. But all I want is him back.

He ran track in middle school... cause I did.
He wrote my remember me poem in english... the most beautiful thing I ever heard.
He took me to see the fireworks alone... but I was afraid to hold his hand.
He dated my best friend... when I was taken.
He got jealous of his friend... who I was with.
He comforted me when we broke up... because he knew I was alone.
He kissed me on the cheek on our friends front steps at a party and admitted how he's liked me since middle school too.

Right now I wish I could take him in my arms, kiss him on the cheek, cry into his shirt and to hear him say "its okay, I am here for you".
I miss the way hed giggle after he kissed me.
I miss the times hed look at me and go"you've really grown up and you are really beautiful".
I hate the fact that HE MAY STILL LIKE ME TOO BUT DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME.

My heart is fuckin smashed.