A post I saw on Tumblr.
"A Hospital For Souls"
Mine needs a hospital. I am broken down inside. I cant hide myself anymore. But I have to. But here I go. Emotions on lock down. Show none, see none, speak none. YOU DONT FUCKIN KNOW ME. I am not who I was, I am not who I am. I am nothing like you. Im different and none of you will ever get that.
These words blur. I can not read them. I can not sleep, but I can for eternity. I cant breathe... sometimes.
But you don't care. Do you? NO. NO YOU FUCKIN' DON'T.
And neither do I.
Here's to sending my soul away.
To a place where is can rest and play.
To all the girls and boys, following the noise.
Keep going theres none here.
There is almost nothing to fear.
Here I stay, my head to rest.
And now I wish you all the best.
Silvermoon
Friday, January 13, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Priorities
Maybe he's right.
He is busy. I am busy, maybe this is better.
I want to be his friend. More then anything. He is the only one I will truly be happy going to semi with. But maybe this is for the best. Maybe it will help me get my priorities straight.
Ah priorities.
I feel like I have no friends sometime. So thats out of the way. Recently I have lots of older friends. They are all seniors. I have such a good time with them. They all talk to me like a human and don't make fun of me for being me. They make fun of the stupid things I do. We make fun of each other. And they invite me to things and aren't super secretive about life. I feel so free with them. They will all be leaving for smart people schools soon. I will miss them greatly but I will enjoy the time I have with them now.
Art and school. My top priorities. College fits in the art category. And SAT's fit in the school category. Those are very intensive categories. I know I have to work hard. I think thats why I was meant to be alone right now. To focus. Work hard. Do my best. Go to art school.... the place I have only seen in my dreams.
So my priorities start this weekend.
Sleep. Because I cant be sick anymore.
Do art. Because I am showing my portfolio in a few weeks.
Homework. Huck Finn is due MONDAY. And I need mock trial stuff for TUESDAY.
And a thesis statement... Suny us... thats MONDAY.
I can do this. Breath in and out [like your'e pregnant my friend would say].
Goodnight.
<3 Silvermoon
He is busy. I am busy, maybe this is better.
I want to be his friend. More then anything. He is the only one I will truly be happy going to semi with. But maybe this is for the best. Maybe it will help me get my priorities straight.
Ah priorities.
I feel like I have no friends sometime. So thats out of the way. Recently I have lots of older friends. They are all seniors. I have such a good time with them. They all talk to me like a human and don't make fun of me for being me. They make fun of the stupid things I do. We make fun of each other. And they invite me to things and aren't super secretive about life. I feel so free with them. They will all be leaving for smart people schools soon. I will miss them greatly but I will enjoy the time I have with them now.
Art and school. My top priorities. College fits in the art category. And SAT's fit in the school category. Those are very intensive categories. I know I have to work hard. I think thats why I was meant to be alone right now. To focus. Work hard. Do my best. Go to art school.... the place I have only seen in my dreams.
So my priorities start this weekend.
Sleep. Because I cant be sick anymore.
Do art. Because I am showing my portfolio in a few weeks.
Homework. Huck Finn is due MONDAY. And I need mock trial stuff for TUESDAY.
And a thesis statement... Suny us... thats MONDAY.
I can do this. Breath in and out [like your'e pregnant my friend would say].
Goodnight.
<3 Silvermoon
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Single
He dumped me on Monday morning.
He called and asked me out to coffee to "talk about us". As soon as I saw those words thought the worst and felt tears running down my face. I changed my attitude, pulled myself together, and wished for the best.
I walked in and sat down at a table. he came in, asked how I was, and told me we couldn't be together anymore. It didn't matter if we were at my house, his, I was gonna cry and I did. There were tears everywhere.
He told me it was for the better, held my hand while I cried. My best friend. Right in front of me. We didn't talk about us. He ended us.
And now its Wednesday night. I am crying writing this. I cry when I talk about it. There are so many things I wish I could say to him... but cant. I want to hug him, but people told me that wasn't a good idea. And he avoids me. Well, tries not to make contact with me. And all I want to fuckin' do is kiss him.
A few girls have really helped me through this and I owe them eternally. They all support me and let me know things will get better. But all I want is him back.
He ran track in middle school... cause I did.
He wrote my remember me poem in english... the most beautiful thing I ever heard.
He took me to see the fireworks alone... but I was afraid to hold his hand.
He dated my best friend... when I was taken.
He got jealous of his friend... who I was with.
He comforted me when we broke up... because he knew I was alone.
He kissed me on the cheek on our friends front steps at a party and admitted how he's liked me since middle school too.
Right now I wish I could take him in my arms, kiss him on the cheek, cry into his shirt and to hear him say "its okay, I am here for you".
I miss the way hed giggle after he kissed me.
I miss the times hed look at me and go"you've really grown up and you are really beautiful".
I hate the fact that HE MAY STILL LIKE ME TOO BUT DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME.
My heart is fuckin smashed.
He called and asked me out to coffee to "talk about us". As soon as I saw those words thought the worst and felt tears running down my face. I changed my attitude, pulled myself together, and wished for the best.
I walked in and sat down at a table. he came in, asked how I was, and told me we couldn't be together anymore. It didn't matter if we were at my house, his, I was gonna cry and I did. There were tears everywhere.
He told me it was for the better, held my hand while I cried. My best friend. Right in front of me. We didn't talk about us. He ended us.
And now its Wednesday night. I am crying writing this. I cry when I talk about it. There are so many things I wish I could say to him... but cant. I want to hug him, but people told me that wasn't a good idea. And he avoids me. Well, tries not to make contact with me. And all I want to fuckin' do is kiss him.
A few girls have really helped me through this and I owe them eternally. They all support me and let me know things will get better. But all I want is him back.
He ran track in middle school... cause I did.
He wrote my remember me poem in english... the most beautiful thing I ever heard.
He took me to see the fireworks alone... but I was afraid to hold his hand.
He dated my best friend... when I was taken.
He got jealous of his friend... who I was with.
He comforted me when we broke up... because he knew I was alone.
He kissed me on the cheek on our friends front steps at a party and admitted how he's liked me since middle school too.
Right now I wish I could take him in my arms, kiss him on the cheek, cry into his shirt and to hear him say "its okay, I am here for you".
I miss the way hed giggle after he kissed me.
I miss the times hed look at me and go"you've really grown up and you are really beautiful".
I hate the fact that HE MAY STILL LIKE ME TOO BUT DOESNT WANT TO BE WITH ME.
My heart is fuckin smashed.
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