I have the boy of my dreams.
I have friends that love me.
I have everything I need.
Right now, everything feels...
Perfect.
~SilverMoon
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Something To Say
I have something to say. To everyone.
This is a promise.
A guarantee.
A life choice.
Cause I know all of you care and are here for me.
I promised my ex boyfriend things.
And I am going to keep every single one of those promises.
No cutting.
No smoking.
No burning.
I hope you can all trust me. Cause this is a promise I plan to keep.
I plan to change my ways.
I plan to change myself.
I plan to be normal.
~SilverMoon
This is a promise.
A guarantee.
A life choice.
Cause I know all of you care and are here for me.
I promised my ex boyfriend things.
And I am going to keep every single one of those promises.
No cutting.
No smoking.
No burning.
I hope you can all trust me. Cause this is a promise I plan to keep.
I plan to change my ways.
I plan to change myself.
I plan to be normal.
~SilverMoon
A Dream
I had a dream tonight.
I heard about a teacher being shot and stuff. And it was one of those dreams where you run around looking for who did it. But in life... why would you? He most likely has a gun.
Well as I was looking I was so confused about the whole situation. I really was until I realized this kid from my school was trying to hide it. So I was like you did it didn't you. And he was like I have a problem. So I took him home with me.
We got into my house and I said to him tell my dad, tell him. He said I don't have to tell you anything, and he grabbed my boyfriend.... ex boyfriend... who was in the room and shot him.
And he was gone. Just like that.
Isn't it funny how a shooting and a breakup are kinda like the same thing. The only difference is a breakup is harder. You still see them across the room... And wish you were in their life...
~SilverMoon
I heard about a teacher being shot and stuff. And it was one of those dreams where you run around looking for who did it. But in life... why would you? He most likely has a gun.
Well as I was looking I was so confused about the whole situation. I really was until I realized this kid from my school was trying to hide it. So I was like you did it didn't you. And he was like I have a problem. So I took him home with me.
We got into my house and I said to him tell my dad, tell him. He said I don't have to tell you anything, and he grabbed my boyfriend.... ex boyfriend... who was in the room and shot him.
And he was gone. Just like that.
Isn't it funny how a shooting and a breakup are kinda like the same thing. The only difference is a breakup is harder. You still see them across the room... And wish you were in their life...
~SilverMoon
Friday, January 21, 2011
Over
We broke up.
I am so depressed.
I feel like I've hurt him so bad. Even though he said I hadn't.
BLEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I am video chatting with two friends. They are really helping. I feel awful.
I hate myself.
I don't know what to do... I have classes with him and everything... UGGGGGGGG!!!
Life just brings me down... and I don't know when I will ever get back up.
I feel so lonely. I feel so upset. Everyone says "life goes on...". But life is stupid. And if it has to go on, I don't want to be in it... but here I am. Cause of all the promises I make. And I will not be going anywhere.
~SilverMoon
I am so depressed.
I feel like I've hurt him so bad. Even though he said I hadn't.
BLEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
I am video chatting with two friends. They are really helping. I feel awful.
I hate myself.
I don't know what to do... I have classes with him and everything... UGGGGGGGG!!!
Life just brings me down... and I don't know when I will ever get back up.
I feel so lonely. I feel so upset. Everyone says "life goes on...". But life is stupid. And if it has to go on, I don't want to be in it... but here I am. Cause of all the promises I make. And I will not be going anywhere.
~SilverMoon
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Fixed
Everything is finally settled with that whole issue.
My boyfriends happy, but my friends are stressed.
They think it's their fault when its 100% not.
Truth is if i got to a level of depression where I couldn't stand life anymore... Id probably do it again. Weed that is. But I know I am never going to get there. I have the sweetest boyfriend, and some really great best friends who are like family to me, and I know they will help me through everything.
Right now I am not that happy. Last night that was. Maybe its cause I felt the thrill of everything going back to normal. Normal isn't that great. And school is canceled. I actually wanted to go today. Now I am bored. Home alone. Again.
And I am expected to study. Thats all I did yesterday! Todays gonna be awful!
Well yeah, thats all their is in my life for now.
Writing seems to be more of a hassle though. And theres nothing to write about. I stopped cutting, I'm not smoking, but my life's not that great. I just have nothing seriously bad to put up I guess. Thats probably a good thing. But sorry to all you people who check... I am sorry my life isn't that interesting.
~SilverMoon
My boyfriends happy, but my friends are stressed.
They think it's their fault when its 100% not.
Truth is if i got to a level of depression where I couldn't stand life anymore... Id probably do it again. Weed that is. But I know I am never going to get there. I have the sweetest boyfriend, and some really great best friends who are like family to me, and I know they will help me through everything.
Right now I am not that happy. Last night that was. Maybe its cause I felt the thrill of everything going back to normal. Normal isn't that great. And school is canceled. I actually wanted to go today. Now I am bored. Home alone. Again.
And I am expected to study. Thats all I did yesterday! Todays gonna be awful!
Well yeah, thats all their is in my life for now.
Writing seems to be more of a hassle though. And theres nothing to write about. I stopped cutting, I'm not smoking, but my life's not that great. I just have nothing seriously bad to put up I guess. Thats probably a good thing. But sorry to all you people who check... I am sorry my life isn't that interesting.
~SilverMoon
Monday, January 17, 2011
Mistakes
This weekend I made the biggest mistake of my life.
I tried weed.
I know it's not that huge a deal or anything to most people. But to someone who truly cares about me, it is. And I am starting to hate myself as I know I keep hurting him. And this time was probably the worst. I have lost his trust, I have lost everything. But he still loves me. And I still love him.
I was up last night. For most of the night. Thinking. I feel like such an awful person. I've made mistakes in the past, but none as big as this. I hurt the one person who actually cares about me, who tells the truth to my face, who keeps me safe, who does everything for me, and who loves me. I can never forgive myself.
Every single one of those stupid Taylor Swift songs... can't even begin to describe my feelings for this guy. I love him more then anyone will ever know.
~SilverMoon
Ps. If you read this... I love you <3
I tried weed.
I know it's not that huge a deal or anything to most people. But to someone who truly cares about me, it is. And I am starting to hate myself as I know I keep hurting him. And this time was probably the worst. I have lost his trust, I have lost everything. But he still loves me. And I still love him.
I was up last night. For most of the night. Thinking. I feel like such an awful person. I've made mistakes in the past, but none as big as this. I hurt the one person who actually cares about me, who tells the truth to my face, who keeps me safe, who does everything for me, and who loves me. I can never forgive myself.
Every single one of those stupid Taylor Swift songs... can't even begin to describe my feelings for this guy. I love him more then anyone will ever know.
~SilverMoon
Ps. If you read this... I love you <3
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