I have so much work to do.
Stupid essay. Stupid tests.
Stupid teachers. Stupid school.
But I don't want to cut.
And I don't feel the need to.
My boyfriends being all cute and saying hes gonna get me an amazing birthday gift and an amazing Christmas gift. Two gifts he says. No ones ever really done that since I was small. Everyone just pacts the gift into one and says here ya go. Hes kinda perfect if I do say so myself.
I am getting him the most amazing gift ever. 8 actually. One for every night of Hanukkah. How cool am I?
Everything with him just seems so perfect. I hope to keep it this way for as long as possible. <3
~SilverMoon
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Love
I love him.
I am saying it here cause I want the world to know.
I LOVE HIM.
Even though we fight and go through rough patches I know he will always be here to love, support and take care of me.
He has been amazing. We were arguing and making each other upset for a week and a half. One of my friends gave me advice in the situation. He told me to confront him and talk about it. And thats what I did. We are 110% fine now. I owe my friend.
My boyfriend is amazing.
And I want him to always remember three words:
I. LOVE. YOU. <3
~SilverMoon
I am saying it here cause I want the world to know.
I LOVE HIM.
Even though we fight and go through rough patches I know he will always be here to love, support and take care of me.
He has been amazing. We were arguing and making each other upset for a week and a half. One of my friends gave me advice in the situation. He told me to confront him and talk about it. And thats what I did. We are 110% fine now. I owe my friend.
My boyfriend is amazing.
And I want him to always remember three words:
I. LOVE. YOU. <3
~SilverMoon
Monday, November 8, 2010
Why Not?
Tonight my parents freaked out. Cause my life is so freakin busy.
I talked to the school social worker last week and I let her know I hadn't been to therapy in weeks. Cause my mom didn't want to take me and I was sick. The sick thing I understand. But this week she just decided she doesn't want to take me.
I feel lost. Alone. Afraid. Bottled up.
And tonight... I let it out. I cut. For the first time in at least two months. I was doing so well too. But denying therapy is denying sanity, denying happiness. I need to talk to someone, I need to let it out.
I just might go see the school social worker tomorrow. I just might.
~SilverMoon
I talked to the school social worker last week and I let her know I hadn't been to therapy in weeks. Cause my mom didn't want to take me and I was sick. The sick thing I understand. But this week she just decided she doesn't want to take me.
I feel lost. Alone. Afraid. Bottled up.
And tonight... I let it out. I cut. For the first time in at least two months. I was doing so well too. But denying therapy is denying sanity, denying happiness. I need to talk to someone, I need to let it out.
I just might go see the school social worker tomorrow. I just might.
~SilverMoon
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Suny World
My school is now offering a class called Suny World this year. And me, not being a test taker decided to take it. Unlike AP, we do much more writing.
I woke up this morning at 5 am. My head said "Oh my god. Your Suny World paper is due on Friday. The one you have had OVER a month to work on and HAVEN'T started."
My brain searched for excuses. All I could think of was my mono. It could be used? Right. On top of the paper I've had SO many notes to take and I haven't even caught up with that and need to talk to my teacher anyway about getting an extension.
So I was saying. My brain is malfunctioning. I texted my boyfriend. I told him to make me write it 2nd period tomorrow. FORCE me.
I was so panicked. I got out of bed at about 5:20. Sat down at my computer and STARTED WRITING my Suny World essay. I wrote half of the opening when my brain stopped. I started thinking when I would have time between now and Thursday to write it.
I thought this afternoon between the time my boyfriend leaves and I go shopping, Monday after I visit my friend I passed mono to, Tuesdays out- I am going to a concert. Wait the concert. Thats the 9th.
And thats what killed me. The concert is on the 9th. And my essay...
ITS DUE THE 19TH!!!!!!!!
Fuck my brain. Kept me up for an hour because of an essay I still have TWO weeks to write. *sigh* And here I go. Once again driving myself to insanity.
~SilverMoon
I woke up this morning at 5 am. My head said "Oh my god. Your Suny World paper is due on Friday. The one you have had OVER a month to work on and HAVEN'T started."
My brain searched for excuses. All I could think of was my mono. It could be used? Right. On top of the paper I've had SO many notes to take and I haven't even caught up with that and need to talk to my teacher anyway about getting an extension.
So I was saying. My brain is malfunctioning. I texted my boyfriend. I told him to make me write it 2nd period tomorrow. FORCE me.
I was so panicked. I got out of bed at about 5:20. Sat down at my computer and STARTED WRITING my Suny World essay. I wrote half of the opening when my brain stopped. I started thinking when I would have time between now and Thursday to write it.
I thought this afternoon between the time my boyfriend leaves and I go shopping, Monday after I visit my friend I passed mono to, Tuesdays out- I am going to a concert. Wait the concert. Thats the 9th.
And thats what killed me. The concert is on the 9th. And my essay...
ITS DUE THE 19TH!!!!!!!!
Fuck my brain. Kept me up for an hour because of an essay I still have TWO weeks to write. *sigh* And here I go. Once again driving myself to insanity.
~SilverMoon
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