Stress

Stressed over my limit.
Parents are out. Talking.
To my therapist.
I think i'm going to explode.

~SilverMoon

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~SilverMoon

This Friend

I have this friend. And I care about her. Maybe more then I should. I think she cares about me too. But we haven't spoken in a few days. I finally talked to her today. I hope we are gonna be okay. I just hope she cares about me... as much as I care about her...

~SilverMoon

Feeling

I don't feel anymore. And I hate it.
So I cut my fingers. I hope it helps...

The only way to let it out, is to cry <3

Myself

I know I haven't been myself lately. Everyone keeps asking if i'm okay, and what is wrong. But I don't know... about anything. I didn't know I was acting weird, until people mentioned it. Am I really that off this week?

~SilverMoon

The Bitch

Shes a bitch to me. Always.
I hate her. And one of my friends wants to do something.
As long as my name isn't mentioned, and my friend doesn't get hurt its okay.
I prefer to fight my own battles...
But she wont let this go.
Cause i'm hurting.
But i'd would rather be dead then have her hurt.
And if she does get hurt,
Then that bitch is going DOWN!
Well see where this goes...

~SilverMoon

If theres something wrong with him,
then I must be fucking insane.

This Week

Its been a rough first week of school, I have to say. Drama is starting up, people are fitting back into things, and I seem to be breaking down. I don't let many people around me know it. I have to stay strong, for them. But I know if everyone did know the truth they would be okay, and try to help me. Whoever I do tell is very accepting and helpful.
A few of my friends are breaking down like me. But we are all staying strong, together. Or somewhat together.
Today was better then my whole week combined. I went to the mall with my boyfriend and got the NEW Linkin Park cd. It made my week. This week, and probably my next.
But otherwise I have these FUCKIN cuts that FUCKIN hurt that I have to be SUPER cautious about and FUCKIN hide from my FUCKIN parents. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRR!

uhh. I need me time.

~SilverMoon

Bad Day

Today was awful.
And now I am home.
And I cut. Deepest I ever have. It hurt less surprisingly. That confuses me. There was a lot of blood though.
I cut today for the people around me who feel like I do. Thats why it was so deep. I have other people on my mind to let the anger out for. Two people I care about deeply. I don't want anything to ever happen to them <3

~SilverMoon

Limits

I have hit my limit, I may explode. Things are happening all around me. And so I'm locking myself back in. People are scaring me. So I close my eyes. And hope for the best. The best has happened tonight. Shes still here. But what about me? Will I be? How much longer will I have to stay here?
I promised him forever... So I will be. In human form or in spirit. Forever.
But if I do go I know what will happen. Spirit will not be good enough. So here I am, wasting away into nothing. How would I go anyway. I want quick and painless. Pain is a weird thing. I love it at first... then it becomes old news. I hate it. But I do it again. It may just be the adrenalin that flows through my vanes.

Wow. I am really no longer sane. Whats wrong with me. I need answers. But I cant get those cause "I have to figure it out for myself". Stupid life. Stupid god. Stupid universe. GIVE ME THE ANSWERS!

~SilverMoon

Blogging

You know, I haven't blogged in a while.
Every things been ehh. I do have stuff to blog about, but I don't have the energy. I'm getting lazy.
So whats been going on... umm...
I don't like my parents much lately. Definitely not my mom. She makes me feel like i'm not good enough. Makes me want to cut. I haven't in a while though. But I feel so worthless.
One of my friends isn't feeling good about herself lately. She is trying to make me hate her. But I wont do it. I wont give up on her. Never. I love her.
New Linkin Park album comes out Tuesday :D
I feel the need to get high. Ive never done it before, but I need an escape. I don't know if it will happen or not. We will see.

So yeah, thats about it. My life. People keep asking me to write, but this is as exciting as it gets. Who cares about this crap?!
Whatever.

~SilverMoon

What. The. Fuck.

I tried to help a friend. She calls herself a bitch, and thinks theres no hope. Just like I was when I first became depressed.
Our difference is she shares with people. I didn't. And it annoys the fuck out of all of us she tells. The only difference between them and me... is that i'm reliving my worst nightmare. I don't sleep anymore. Its all coming back. I feel like cutting. I am going INSANE.
I told her off.
She doesn't get it. I "lied" to her. She thought I cared. But her her eyes now I don't. But tomorrow is the first day of school. And I don't want a repeat of last year. Or the year before...
I really don't.

~SilverMoon

A Friend

You. You commented under my post "Who Am I?".
I met you at camp. And I may not know who I am, but I am going to tell you who you are.
You are
Always yourself.
Funny.
Smart.
A tad depressed, but don't show it.
One of the most amazing singers I know.
A great friend.
A sweet boyfriend (your girl has told me so).
A good dancer (last night at explo before the slideshow<3).
Someone I can always count on.

That you for being here for me whenever I need you. I promise I will never give up on you. Please don't give up on me. Be safe hun.

~SilverMoon